Tonight’s dose of antibiotics is Day 4 of the course.
Each time I take out the medicine box from the kitchen cabinet, I feel nervous as if I am going to take an exam, or going for a roller coaster ride; not knowing what to expect.
Since yesterday morning, I started a routine of mixing his antibiotics with rose syrup, and pumped it up with a syringe. The syringe will be in a plate together with a small bowl of his favorite raisins to take away the bitterness from the antibiotics. Before going into the room, I would bring along his water bottle, two pieces of tissue and two baby square towels. With all these on the floor, I then bring my boy into the room.
I feel uneasy, uncertain. My boy would cry and say “I don’t want this!” pointing to the medicine, and I respond with a lie that I will throw it away. I offer him the bowl of raisins which he would accept and then stop crying. Once he swallows them, I feed him some water. In a few minutes, I would make him lie in my left arm, with his right arm on my back. With his neck on my left arm, my left hand grabs his left hand from touching his mouth. In a flash, I put a towel below his chin with my right hand, quickly grab the syringe and squirt a few mini presses of antibiotic into his inner cheeks. He will be screaming while he tries to bite the syringe. But each time he screams, his mouth opens and I quickly put a bit of the dosage in. A nurse at Thomson Medical Centre taught me this method in 2010.
I would repeat this two times, with two rest intervals to give him raisins and tell him more lies about throwing the medicine away. 🙁
Yesterday, I passed my morning and evening exams with credit. This morning, I passed with flying colours.
Tonight, I failed. He vomited immediately after I administered the dosage. Strangely I linked this to the fact that I went to work this afternoon. I felt I understand his body cues less tonight. Perhaps I feel guilty for leaving for work after the morning dose and for not rewarding him with scooter rides with me.
I’m confused. I want so much to stay home to be with him today and tomorrow, but at the same time I can’t stop worrying about the work I’m delaying and may forget to follow up when I return to work. I feel relieved that I managed to clear some outstanding work today.
I pray for a smoother ride for the remaining three doses.