My life has entered another stage in April this year. Two staff members have left our retail store due to health reasons. My consolation prize is that one will be back in two weeks, hopefully. At the exact same time, three part time students have left as they prepare for their tertiary education. It’s weird how things happen all at the same time. DeeDee is now in between jobs and seeing this on the bright side means he is able to help me out at the store while we desperately hire. Hiring the right candidates is harder than climbing the Mount Everest.
My emotions are not under control lately. I’m struggling to enjoy the day. It seem like everyday I’m rushing between home, shop, children’s enrichment classes, attending to the children’s attention needs, guiding the children in completing their homework, handling work emails, phone calls, and the list goes on and on………… The pressure is worsen by BoiBoy’s condition. He had a bad cold, and was not breathing too well by the time DeeDee and I managed to squeeze time to bring him to his regular Pediatrician. We feel guilty. BoiBoy was given Antibiotic and it is so challenging to feed it to him. (Since young, it has been a nightmare to feed him antibiotics – see previous post here)
Last week I directed my suppressed anger at my precious GerGer over lunch. I knew all along that she has a super small appetite and a bowl of cream soup would suffice for a meal sometimes. I brought her to Poulet Restaurant after her enrichment class, and initially ordered a bowl of mushroom soup for her (it is our favorite soup). Seeing that they had a set lunch which gave out a free mushroom soup and a drink, I ordered a half chicken meal set, thinking that I can share the chicken with GerGer. As the soup base was too milky, GerGer was full after three quarters bowl of soup. It triggered my out leash of anger and I said hurting words.
“Don’t ever ask me to bring you for a lunch out again.”
“You cannot even finish a bowl of soup? Look at how much chicken we are wasting? Do you know how much it costs me?”
She tear. My heart ached with guilt. She moved over to sit on my legs and I hugged her with deep apologies. Kissed her on her cheeks and spoke softly to her. “I’m sorry. I ordered too much.” “I have thrown away my angry monster.” I tear too, discretely. (see past post on Angry Monsters)
I am struggling with my emotional turmoil lately. But I’m sure I’ll survive well if I keep calm.
Keep calm and carry on “Motherhood Means Business”.