Family, Parenting, Thoughts and Feelings

Seeking reassurance

Recently, the topic on disciplining young children has been brought up several times in my life. Is God trying to tell me something?

I am the main disciplinarian at home. I implemented time outs (in my master bedroom toilet to get my kids out of sight from their loving grandparents), I use the cane more as a more for the fear factor purposes. I disallow my kids to move away from their chair until they are done with their meals. I reprimand them for touching electrical plugs, electric fans, jumping on beds, fighting for toys, whining instead of requesting politely for a want, etc.

For most of it, I’m the practitioner. My husband is my main silent supporter. My in laws use my name to “scare” the kids. This is the discipline landscape at home. My cute little niece is part of our landscape as she comes in the day, taken care of by my in laws. Her mummy, my sister in law takes a lenient view compared to me. When my niece does things I disallow my kids to, my kids discipline her. This is the humour in the rowdy flat. The kids imitate me, asking my niece to stand in a corner for time out. It brings a lot of laughter to us watching them act like adults.

Today I feel insecure after my mother in law shared that she was more lenient with my hubby and sister in law when they were young. Well, my mother didn’t know how to disciplined brother and me I felt. With these two Mothers in my mind, and with my sister in law’s leniency adding on to my almost confused mind, I doubt my philosophy today. It is ironic that the only person in the flat that supported with firm words, of my disciplining was my maid.

Just yesterday I was so sure I’m doing right and well. Sigh. I guess God is testing my values as a mother. I feel alone often when I comes to kids issues because I’m the only one who voices my thoughts and implement them. I feel so out of place living in a family who advocates love much more than discipline. Haven’t I done enough to validate that I discipline with love and respect too? I shower my kids with hugs and kisses, I read up and practice effective bonding. I work hard to gain my kids’ trust in me, and in so doing they listen to me.

I hope I don’t fall apart so easily.


2 thoughts on “Seeking reassurance

  1. is never easy being the disciplinary in the hse.
    same goes for me at home. daddy’s the nice friend while mummy’s the one who asked him to eat when he doesnt want to, asked him to shower when he doesnt want to. And now Shern knows how to say “shern-shern cry, mummy beat”….how about that?

    Anyway, even after all that, Shern still comes to me more than anybody else in the house (including his popo, kong-kong, etc).
    kids know. they know who treats them good. they know mummy love them still.

    so im sure ur kids know as well 😉

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