I stay with my In-laws. My niece comes here daily from Monday to Friday while my Sister-In-Law goes to work.
Parenting styles differ greatly between my In-laws, sister-in-law, husband and me. I’m the tyrant in their eyes, I gather. I’m the no nonsense Mother.
I have been troubled about how to discipline my children – I don’t allow them to whine and jump when I say “no”, while they see my niece get away with screaming and crying and whining? When I don’t discipline my niece, on request of my husband, my Mother-In-Law says I should. When I start to discipline her in gentler ways compared to my methods for my children, my husband asks me to robe down. Because my girl is the eldest I task her to set a good example for the other children. She gets scolded if my niece follows a negative behaviour she displays.
Though this has been a big issue for me all along, it has bothered me more recently. Maybe because I’m pressured to mold my younger boy to stop his whining. I feel alone. It’s a lonely journey especially on days my husband returns home and stops me from disciplining my niece.
I want to straighten out my thoughts soon. None of my friends stay with in laws and managed to parent their way. So I have no one to turn to.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t see the benefits of staying with in laws and having a niece play with my children. While I appreciate all these, I seem to be paying a price of not being able to be a parent I want to be.
I don’t like this feeling as I’m not thinking logical now. I have lots of feelings and wants suppressed, as I pay the price of family harmony which my husband wants of me.