Parenting, Thoughts and Feelings

Hurting words doesn’t teach a child effectively

While in a queue, waiting for my turn, I witnessed a Mother reprimanding her daughter.

I’m not good in writing, so I decided to draw though is seems as bad. But the picture was basically the gist of the episode. As I watched the girl’s facial expression (almost going to tear), and listened to the hurtful words from her Mother, I felt very hurt. The feeling of being given up upon, made me also want to give up on the relationship with the party scolding me. Every negative word caused a micro reaction from the pores on my skin; they seem to shun away from the scolding as much as me.

So, the girl, instead of hearing what her Mother was trying so hard to tell her, felt a lot of rejection and hopelessness. Will she get the message? I doubt so.

I hope this serves as a good reminder to me, to use more positive disciplining. I always put in effort to display affection even when I discipline my kids. Yes, I am fierce (and loud) and strict at home, but after every time-out-cum-verbal-reinforcement session, I give them a big kiss and hug, and tell them : “I know you are a good boy/girl, and you are able to behave yourself.”

The message I’m trying to pass to my kids is that I love them as they are. And I don’t love them less when they misbehave. I only get upset, and sometimes angry when they get naughty.


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