Family, Parenting, Thoughts and Feelings

AhGong is Sad. Is grandparental love unconditional?

MeeMee is at home mostly, after her part time contract work has ended.  She tries to work from home on her freelance project, the latest being rewriting a Website for a company. She is enjoying this arrangement although it can be frustrating to have disruptions when the children bug her or fight when she is trying to work.

When MeeMee is at home, AhGong and AhMah gets ignored by BoiBoy.  When AhGong or AhMah sits near him, or talks to him, he gets angry and shouts “No!”.  Despite MeeMee explaining to him that it is very rude of him, he keeps displaying such behaviour.

AhGong is Sad
AhGong is Sad

AhGong feels sad to be ignored by his grandchildren. He loves children. He is child-like when he plays with them, and enjoys playing with them.  AhGong says to BoiBoy “You don’t want AhGong? I’m going to carry GerGer.”.  It’s casual talk, but it can mean otherwise to a child’s mind. When the children argues over a toy, they blurt out sentences that go “I’m angry!  I’m not going to give you my car sticker!  I’m not going to share my Zoo Lego with you!”.  Sounds like tit-for-tat?

This reminds me (MeeMee) of my emotional responses about GerGer being super sticky to AhMah since birth. I used to be depressed about it. She is my first born and I was learning to be a Mother. Seeing her only ask for AhMah was extremely hurting, collapsing my motherhood’s world. Not to my expectation, my younger BoiBoy is super sticky to me, and it somehow shifts my and leaves my depression behind.  From my current perspective, I totally understand how sad AhGong is when BoiBoy ignores him.

Different generations with the same responses to children not reciprocating to our language of love? We all feel hurt when children do not love us back? We all impose some expectations on our children or grandchildren to receive and reciprocate our love. Aren’t parental or grandparental love suppose to be unconditional? I shall let this blog post remind myself that it is naturally unconditional, and not to be tampered with.

I’m happy that GerGer looks for me more as she is older. I play with her, read with her, and do her assessment books with her. Just last night, I read her a book titled “Snug as a Bug”, and she hugged me so tightly refusing to let go, I laughed non-stop with filling the room with sounds of a mother’s priceless joy!

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